


Speech

by orphan_account



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-22
Updated: 2015-04-22
Packaged: 2018-03-25 05:08:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3797890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Cupcake?”<br/>“Hmm?”<br/>“Hey, sit up for a moment. I need to talk to you.”<br/>Uh oh. </p>
<p>Who knew Carmilla gave speeches?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Speech

> _"And I'll be your safety, you'll be my lady." - Ed Sheeran, [Kiss Me]_

 

“Cupcake?”

“Mmm?” Laura murmured absent-mindedly, not tearing her eyes away from the Tumblr mobile app she was scrolling through on Carmilla’s phone (because her own phone was obviously not from this century, and did not even have Internet connection, let alone a Tumblr app; and Carm had been kind enough to let Laura use her much newer, fancier phone after her few mandatory minutes of acting cool and indifferent about it).

“Hey, sit up for a moment. I need to talk to you,” Carmilla said softly but seriously. Laura looked up from where her head was laying on Carmilla’s lap, and her eyes met Carmilla’s.

Outwardly, the vampire looked like how she always looked, flawless, effortlessly beautiful, but the expression on her face was not the usual apathetic boredom. Instead, Carmilla looked nervous. Laura could see in Carmilla’s eyes, could feel it in the way Carmilla was controlling her breathing.

Because Carmilla was rarely affected by anything (a characteristic that sometimes got Laura quite frustrated) seeing her nervous was Laura’s cue to be nervous. She pushed herself from her comfortable, horizontal position on the bed and sat up, sitting cross legged opposite Carmilla and glanced at the vampire warily.

“Carm? What’s up?” she asked slowly, trying to get Carmilla to look at her when the brunette averted her gaze.

Carmilla glanced around their dorm room for a few seconds, and then took a deep breath, as if trying to steel herself to say something. Those seconds felt like an agonizingly long time, but Laura knew better by then than to push the vampire. When Carm felt like sharing, she would; even though this whole conversation (or slow beginning of it) was Carm’s initiation and Laura was getting increasingly apprehensive with every second that went by.

Carmilla pushed herself off from where she had been leaning with her back against Laura’s headboard, took both of Laura’s hands in hers, and met Laura’s eyes. And finally she spoke.

“Laura, I… I wanted to apologize,” Carmilla said uncertainly.

“Apologize? For what?” Laura blurted out before Carmilla could continue. “Did you leave your hair all over the bathroom floor again?” She joked, trying to alleviate her own nerves and maybe Carm’s too.

“Shh, wait,” Carmilla said, taking her right hand from Laura’s and gently placing her index finger against Laura’s lips instead. “I don’t know if I can say this if you keep interrupting me, cookie.”

Laura obligingly kept quiet and stared at Carmilla instead, one eyebrow raised questioningly.

 Carmilla lowered her hand to Laura’s neck, her fingers gently caressing two very small, barely visible scars. Scars formed from the first time Carm had bitten her.

“Do you still remember this?” Carmilla asked her, and she nodded silently, wondering why in the world was Carm bringing that up and where this conversation was headed.

But she did remember. She remembered being rather pissed and quite upset at the vampire using her as a human juicebox. She also remembered feeling rather uncomfortable at the fact that Carmilla had thought that she could just conveniently bite her and suck her blood, without even asking, vampire crush or no vampire crush.

“The first time I bit you and you confronted me about it, I said, rather callously, “at least you’re not dead” and that was wrong of me,” Carmilla said hurriedly, as if she had to get this all out before she lost her nerve. Her right hand took up Laura’s left again, and she interlocked their fingers.

“It was wrong of me to just bite you and drink your blood without asking, no matter what my reasons were. It was a gross violation of you privacy and your body, and I had no right,” Carmilla continued, her gaze dropping down to avoid looking Laura in the eyes.

“And after that, it was wrong of me to totally disregard your feelings about it, and to treat you the way I did, and I… I’m sorry.”

Carmilla looked up after she finished speaking, and the look on her face was one of anxiousness mixed with guilt and possibly a bit of shame.

“Laura? Say something,” Carmilla prompted, a bit pleadingly.

Laura opened her mouth to say something, only to realize that it was already opened, with her jaw dropping at Carmilla’s apology speech. In all their months of knowing each other, never had her broody vampire apologized for anything. Not explicitly, anyway.

“Carm, it’s okay,” Laura answered quickly. “I mean, I agree, obviously it wasn’t okay, but it’s very sweet of you to apologize and now it’s okay, she rambled on, then stopped.

Not knowing what else to say, she moved forward and wrapped the vampire in a hug, and Laura could physically feel Carm’s tension melt away from the way her previously rigid posture relaxed. She buried her face in the space between Carm’s shoulder and neck, then looked up and whispered in her ear, “Thank you.”

Laura felt, rather than saw Carmilla smile before Carmilla pulled back from the hug to look Laura in the eyes.

“I know that this—what we have, is new and young, it’s just that I know what it’s like to feel betrayed, with Ell, and you might have felt betrayed when the biting happened, and I don’t ever want you to have to feel that way again, especially not because of me.”

Carmilla paused for a moment, gazing intensely at Laura. Yeah, vampire gazes were supposed to be compelling, but this was almost ridiculous. Laura broke eye contact and glanced down.

“I don’t ever want to, and won’t, presume to take any liberties with your body, just because we’re in a relationship. I… I don’t want you to be afraid of me,” Carmilla let out in a rush, and suddenly Laura understood where this was coming from. When she looked up and resumed eye contact, she saw that there was more than just raw emotion in Carmilla’s eyes. There was also a promise.

A promise to keep Laura safe, not just from any of her mother’s evil minions who still might be lurking around, or from any weird monster that Silas could spew out from its depths, or even from any random thug on the streets, all of which Carm could probably defeat with two arms tied behind her back and blindfolded. No, the promise for protection extended to the person making the promise. It was a solemn, unspoken vow from Carmilla to keep Laura safe from the vampire herself.

And while she was greatly touched by the grand gesture, it also broke her heart. Because it meant that Carm still saw herself as someone to be feared rather than someone to be loved.

Laura knew that if she were to say something, she would probably end up veering off topic, so instead she pulled Carmilla into a hug again, holding her tightly without any sign of letting go. Finally she decided to speak. “I trust you, Carm. And this—being with you, it’s the safest I’ve ever felt, even with all those years of Krav Maga and daily bear spray. Right here, right now, and probably for ever, I feel safe with you.”

Carmilla laughed, then sighed as she disentangled herself from the hug and moved around to lie down on Laura’s bed, helping the other girl to do so too.

“I really want us to work, cupcake,” Carmilla said, not meeting Laura's eyes. 

“I love you too, Carm,” Laura answered, smiling as she settled in comfortably beside Carmilla on the bed, holding her hand and lacing their fingers together.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This was a pretty important headcanon for me. But it may be a bit OOC for Carmilla?
> 
> I have a Tumblr if you guys wanna come talk! cactusjuiceinspired.tumblr.com :)  
> Feedback and constructive criticism is/will be appreciated!


End file.
